And in the spirit of the season, I’m counting down the Top 10 things that scare the crap out of me. NOTE: this list is supposed to be all in fun. I’m not putting “nuclear war” or global economic meltdown because those things are just too real.
…..if you can guess the #1 thing that scares me, you will win a coupon for a free copy of all of my books! I’ll give a series of hints, and you can guess any day of the blog hop. Winners, (and the number one thing that scares me) will be revealed on Halloween
(insert ghost-like “wooooooo” here).
Following are six hints to the #1 item on my list…if you can guess it, you get a coupon for free copies of ALL THREE of my books….Just leave your answer in the comments section. (Friends who know me, please e-mail me privately and refrain from commenting and giving a spoiler to everyone…)
1---It is a “monster”---though not one the kids typically dress up as on Halloween
2—It has never been portrayed by Robert Pattinson.
3—It was featured in an episode of “The X Files”
4—It has been seen all over the world, but particularly in the Southern United States
5— Movies have been made about this “monster.” (Two that I know of...)
6---It scares me most because I believe I have actually seen it. (Though it could have possibly been the effects of some bad mayo…)
And now, we'll begin... (come back if you want to visit again and see all the items on my list...(cue drumroll....)
Top 10 things that scare the crap out of me.
10. Bob Saget
No, I’m not talking about that adorable widower with his cute kids on “Full House,” I’m talking about the wise-cracking host of “America’s Funniest Home Videoes” (AFHV) who kept telling jokes THAT WERE NOT FUNNY. And then he’d LAUGH. And then he’d do different voices for the people in the videos. That was creepy.
Okay, rule number one—don’t laugh at yourself. If it’s really funny, you won’t have to because everyone is already laughing. Seinfeld doesn’t laugh at himself. Foxworthy doesn’t laugh at himself (although if you do, you might be a redneck, yada, yada, yada….)
I’m sure Mr. Saget is a wonderful man and outstanding American citizen. He has done wonderful work for charity, and for this, he should be applauded. (Though I have heard that some of his more Vegas-rated comedy routines are profanely R-rated, in stark contrast to his “Full House” role. ) This is not a personal attack on Mr. Saget and I am definitely NOT suggesting that you leave flaming bags of poo on his doorstep. I’m also not suggesting that if you like him that something is wrong with you....
…but his hosting on AFHV is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I give you the clip below…
(Shudder, shudder, shudder)
9. Parking Garages
Why is it in the movies, when everything goes downhill, there’s a drug deal shootout, the undead appear for the first time, it’s always, always, in a parking garage?
In the Matrix Reloaded freaky albino twins attack…in a parking garage.
Some movie where killer toys come after people who are trapped……in a parking garage.
Law and Order opening sequence…in a parking garage (cue Lenny with his wiseacre quip “Parking in this city will kill you…” –doink, --doink)
In Aliens, the alien hive is just basically a big parking garage for mutant evil alien eggs.
Doesn’t the Terminator make his first appearance in a parking garage? If not, he should have.
It’s for this reason I rarely park in a parking garage. Ever. Even in broad daylight. Even if I have to walk six miles to get to where I’m going.
Any other movies where the “fit hit the shan” in a parking garage?
Tune in tomorrow for more from the list.... :)
But in the meantime...
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