I guess it's really no secret that, like many writers, I tend to be prone to melancholy and occasionally quite profound, depression. I tend to say it's like the old expression, "some days you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you."
The strange thing is, I'm not sure what exactly triggered it this time. I was under the weather last week and reacting to a medication that didn't "play well with others." That set me greatly behind on my writing deadline. This manuscript must be postmarked by May 1 to enter a contest [that I recognize it will not win, but as I said, this is about pushing me to make a deadline.] The characters I've been writing about, two in particular, are going through an extreme depression and angst. For the first time as a writer, I wrote what I considered to be a fairly violent scene. It's not that I'm opposed to writing them--if the story merits it--but just that I had never done it before. I kept it kind of Hemingway-esque--short erratic bursts, I guess because less is more, I'm hoping it was more style-merited instead of my own hesitation.
I'm wondering, if exploring these nooks and crannies of characters, in my effort to kind of step outside my comfort zone, that I had maybe been reflecting some of the feelings of my characters. Maybe I just need a good cry. Maybe I've been thinking about this whole thing a bit too much.
I'm hoping to get back to regular posting. I'm really excited about some [hopeful] guest bloggers I've got lined up. I've got some great online resources I want to share. And of course, Snarky Muse will be here with her revelations. I'm also hoping to redesign my website and start my 'page count' in the corner of this blog.
Despite it all, I know life is good. I know the world is not going to end tomorrow [well, I don't know that, but I'm not overtly worried about it.] My faith brings me peace, though faith never promises an easy life. I've learned that being joyful and happy are not the same thing. I've learned that cell phone companies will try to screw you over six ways till Sunday, and some days we're just sad for no explanation. Here's hoping for a good dose of serotonin tonight.
And I wonder sometimes if anyone is out there in the blogosphere. There's a lot out there. I don't expect my little ol' blog from ---yet another---nutty Southern writer to grab your attention. There are those that are far greater at it than I, and probably not half as neurotic.
Heat Wave Winner--
Changing the subject, the winner of our Richard Castle novel is ROSS! Congratulations. I know Ross has done some blogging before, and I hope he will be willing to accommodate me and maybe pop out a guest spot.
The Hamlet you MUST see...
Not your daddy's Hamlet. Modern costuming, an edgy attitude, and two of my favs, Patrick Stewart and David Tennant [who I am madly crushing over.]
I'm going to hang out with my buddy C for an old-fashioned girl's night in. Kind of like a slumber party--we'll braid each other's hair, paint our fingernails and talk about boys.
This Hamlet looks so incredibly dynamic and it amazes me that Bill the Bard can create a character that is so reflective of ourselves, so multi-dimensional and yet, at the same time, such a blank canvas to paint things on.
Wednesday at 8 on your PBS station. Set your DVRs. Here's the trailer.
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4 comments:
I'm here! I hope you're feeling better - you have a lot of insight into the writing process and your own self, so you'll make it through the dip.
I don't know if I ever shared with you that there were scenes in my first novel that made me physically ill to write. They had to be written or I wouldn't have put my physical body through that.
I didn't realize at the time, and it actually took me several years to discover, that two of the main male characters in that novel were basically undeveloped aspects of my personality - I won't go into the full-blown Jungian analysis here - but aside from everything else, writing the novel was on one very deep level a way of integrating the masculine and the feminine parts of ME.
That's why I love the process of writing fiction, and why I think it's a worthwhile endeavor to push ourselves as writers - out of our comfort zones, exploring the shadows, and working our way back to the light.
Definitely--and your first book has some pretty dark places, so I can totally get that. That book must have not only been hard to write, but hard to edit and keep coming back and back to...
Totally over the hump btw--strange because it's almost like switching a light bulb on and off...
It's going to be tight, but I'm going to make the deadline...
You rock!
I'm glad you're back. :)
The first one was not really hard to edit, although there was one long weekend when my agent had asked for some "diving deeper" in several sections and I went to the mountains and rented a room that literally hung off the side of a mountain. The moment I got my stuff unloaded into the room, a thunder/lightning storm hit and I thought maybe I was going to be doing my rewrite in some other place. :)
That was the most bizarre weekend I have ever had, writing wise. I sat cross-legged on the bed, looking at it storm outside over the mountains, and wrote like a maniac.
The morning after I arrived I went to the office to get the incredible breakfast they offered, and a little girl holding a red-headed doll walked up to me and said "her name is Claire and she loves you."
My main character in that novel is Claire, and she has red hair.
:0
Oh wow. That doll thing is tripping me out...[shudder]
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